Credit: This photograph is from Corel Print Office, 1998, Corel Corporation.

What is Aggression?

Aggression is simply fighting with, or being mean to, someone. By nature, kids are mean to each other occasionally. However, fighting is not a good way to resolve conflict. (Note that aggression is different from assertiveness. Assertiveness means self-reliance, boldness, or standing up for your beliefs. Aggression means intentionally hurting someone.)

There are two kinds of aggression:

• Physical aggression is hurting others physically by breaking a toy, slugging, tackling, or yelling at them.
• Relational aggression is trying to damage the other person’s self-esteem or friendships. It involves saying such things as "You aren’t my friend anymore," or "You can’t come to our slumber party because you are dumb."

Boys at every age and in all cultures are more likely to fight physically than girls. Girls generally use relational aggression, which is more distressing to girls than boys. Usually, physical fighting declines with age, and verbal or relational fighting increases.

You can be a valuable role model to kids by handling conflicts without resorting to aggression. Also, see the section on resolving conflict for more information.

When Are Fighting and Acting Up Most Likely To Occur in Groups?

Fighting is more likely to occur when kids are engaged in active and competitive play such as wrestling or football. This type of play may escalate into fights due to a misinterpretation of others' actions (e.g., the young person mistakenly thinks the other kid meant to be mean or to hurt). If aggression of this nature is a problem, volunteers can set up cooperative activities for the group and de-emphasize competition. Leaders can also help kids see things from another person’s point of view and can help the members interpret other members’ true intentions.

Fighting and acting up are more likely if members of the group are unable to resolve bigger group problems  -- such as low group unity, higher levels of negativity, an unfriendly atmosphere, or disorganization -- directly.

Taking extra time to prepare and organize interesting activities that bring the group closer together can help. It is also good to resolve problems that may come up in the group by setting rules, telling the members your expectations of them, and being consistent with those rules and expectations. You can also reduce aggression by increasing group unity. See the section on group unity for more information.

Discussion Questions What other ways might you be able to use this information to prevent or resolve aggression and acting up in your group?

The next section of the lesson will provide more ideas on why kids act up or misbehave.  Click here to return to "Why Won't These Kids Behave?"

Resources

Bee, H. L. (1998). Lifespan Development. 2nd ed. Longman: New York.

DeRossier, M. E. et al. (1994). Group social context and children’s aggressive behavior. Child Development, 65, 1068-1079.

Wicks-Nelson, R., & Israel, C. I. (1997). Behavior Disorders of Childhood. 3^rd ed. Prentice Hall: New Jersey.