Why is there Friction
Among Some Kids?
Credit: This photograph is from
Corel Print Office, 1998, Corel Corporation.
Is Conflict Bad?
When you hear the word conflict, what comes to
mind? Aggression? Fighting? Most people view conflict as a negative thing -- something
that should be avoided or prevented at all costs. However, conflict in any group is
natural and to be expected, even in groups of adults. While nobody wants to encourage
conflict, sometimes it can be a positive thing. Some conflict sparks creativity,
innovation, and change for the better. If handled correctly, conflict can be a positive
way for kids to learn how to interact with other people. As a leader of youth, you have
the opportunity to help kids learn important problem solving skills.
Conflict is different from aggression.
Conflict occurs when people have different interests or incompatible wants and needs.
Everyone experiences conflict occasionally, even adults. Conflict itself is not bad, but
some ways of handling conflict can be problematic. Aggression is a poor way of dealing
with conflict. Aggression is intending to do harm to another person, such as hitting,
biting, or even emotional harm such as name calling, etc. (see the section on "Dealing with Aggression" for more information.)
Why Is There Sometimes Friction
Among Kids?
Credit: This photograph is
from Corel Print Office, 1998, Corel Corporation.
Kids often have a limited number of ways to deal with conflict because they are still
learning how to interact with other people. When adults are frustrated or angry, they can
usually resolve it by talking it out. Kids are more likely to express their negative
emotions physically and nonverbally rather than by speaking.
The older kids are, the less frequently they fight physically and the more likely they
are to use verbal criticism. This is because they are becoming better at expressing
themselves verbally.
Conflict resolution is learned by watching
others. Some kids may naturally be less able to imitate good conflict resolution skills.
Other kids may not have had role models who were very skilled in conflict resolution. By
handling conflicts effectively, you can be a valuable role
model for aggressive kids.
|
Discussion
Question
| When
do the kids in your group seem to have
the most conflict? Why do you think
this is the case? |
|
What Can You Do To Manage Conflict In Your Groups?
There are many strategies for helping kids resolve conflict in healthy ways. The next
section of this lesson, "Helping Kids Resolve
Conflict," will get you started or click here to
return to Lesson 4 start page.
Source: McClure, B. A., Miller, G. A., & Russo, T. J. (1992). Conflict within a
children’s group: Suggestions for facilitating its expression and resolution
strategies. The School Counselor, 39, 268-272.
|