Show Me Character
4-H Character Connections

Responsibility Character Connection

“You can count on me!” We’ve all said it – and we meant it at the time. But have we always carried through?

Responsibility means:

• Doing what you are supposed to do
• Persevering; keep on trying
• Doing your best
• Using self-control
• Being self-disciplined
• Thinking before you act and considering the consequences.

Infants, Toddlers and Preschoolers
Modeling responsible behavior is one of the best things you can do. If your children see you being responsible, they will want to act responsibly too. Once infants start on table food, give them the opportunity to feed themselves. Yes, it will be messy, but they will learn the satisfaction of trying.

Toddlers enjoy completing small tasks you give them like picking up toys, find their shoes, choosing between two stories to read. Give your toddler the chance to choose what to wear. This also teaches him that his opinion counts. These activities help your toddler feel confident, and they also learn to be responsible.

Your preschooler wants to help. Give him jobs at which they can succeed; it will make him feel that he is contributing and he will also learn about being responsible.

Seed Planting Activity
Help your child select flower or vegetable seeds. Using a Styrofoam cup or small pot filled with soil, help him plant the seeds. Explain that it is his responsibility to remind you every day that the plant needs water and light. Have him help you water the plant and place it somewhere that it gets adequate light.

School-Age, Middle School and Teens
As you can see from the list of traits, responsibility is an important aspect of character. Help your child understand that being responsible means choosing his words and actions carefully. It also means he is responsible for his actions and must take responsibility for the consequences of his choices.
Choosing either a positive or negative attitude is also a responsibility. Help your teen understand that a negative attitude can be harmful and people don’t like to be around others with a bad attitude. Viktor Frankl, survivor of a Nazi concentration camp during World War II, once said, “Everything can be taken from man except the last of the human freedoms, his ability to choose his attitude in any given set of circumstances…” Encourage your child to have a positive attitude. You may be viewed as the enemy but be persistent – solicit help from another adult that your teen admires.

Here are some suggested messages to stimulate a change in attitude:

1. Attitudes are products of feelings and always acting on feelings is unhealthy and unwise. A person of character takes time to make good decisions.
2. While initial emotional responses (anger, sadness, etc.) occur spontaneously, with reflection and willpower it is possible to change one’s perspective.
3. How we react to an incident is determined by how we perceive facts and intentions. Our perceptions can often be based on erroneous assumptions produced by negative attitudes.
4. Accept what you cannot change.
5. Selfishness is self-destructive.
6. Bad things do happen, but the happiest and most successful people in life learn to put tragedies, failures, and hurt feelings behind them.

Parenting To Build Character in Your Teen – Josephson, Peter and Dowd, 2001

Adapted from materials written for US Army Child and Youth Services and USDA Cooperative State Research, Education, and Extension Service.

CHARACTER COUNTS® and the Six Pillars of Character are service marks of the CHARACTER COUNTS!® Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics.