Show Me Character
Fairness

Characteristics of Fairness

• Play by the rules
• Take turns and share
• Be open minded; listen to others
• Don’t take advantage of others
• Don’t blame others carelessly

Working with Children and Teens
Make a list of some of your family rules and the consequences of not following them. Ask children what their rules would be if they were in charge of making them. List these next to the actual rules.

Discuss the rules one by one. Ask, “Is this fair? Why or why not? What would happen if we adopted this rule?” Compare these to the first list in terms of fairness. Decide what will happen if the rules are broken.

Consider revising some of the current rules if youth can show how their suggestions are more fair.

Children reflect on the issue of fairness in journal writing exercises and family discussions about what they have written. Have children make journal entries about fairness with sentence stems like the following examples:

• I am treated fairly when…
• Everyone deserves…
• It’s important to play by the rules because…
• The way older people are treated is…
• People are not treated fairly when…

Practicing Fairness 1
Fairness is one of the most difficult Pillars of Character to define clearly. People often see decisions that help them as being “fair” and those that do not as being “unfair.” Fairness is often a matter of perception. Although some decisions are clearly unfair, the fact is there is usually more than one fair choice. Being fair means you:

• Listen to others and try to understand what they are feeling and saying.
• Consider all the facts, including opposing views.
• Use the same standards for everyone in the same situation.

Are you being fair? Make a list of some of your family rules and the consequences of not following them. Ask your children what their rules would be if they were in charge of making them. List these next to the actual rules. Discuss the rules one by one. Ask, “Is this one fair? Why or why not? What would happen if we adopted this rule?” Compare these to the first list in terms of fairness. Decide what will happen if the rules are broken. Consider revising some of the current rules if youth can show how their suggestions are fairer.

Practicing Fairness 2
How many times a day do you proclaim, “That’s not fair!”? It seems to be a common statement made by people of all ages. We often see situations that put us at a disadvantage as “unfair.” At the very least, fairness means going by the rules, treating everyone the same, and using the same rules for everyone, so no one has an unfair advantage.

Exercises
Invite a group of your friends over and suggest you play a game. Make sure that some of your friends know before hand that the group will be playing the game using different rules than usual. Play the game and watch the reaction of those who don’t know the new rules. Be sure to tell them afterward that this was an experiment and not a plan you devised to make them mad. Talk about how it felt to not understand what was going on.

What would you do? One of your 4-H projects is sheep or beef. A requirement for showing market animals at the State Fair is to have a nose print of the animal made several months before the show. While at the Fair you overhear someone saying they switched their animal after the spring nose print was made with a prize-winning animal recently purchased from another state. What would you do? Who is affected by the decision you make? Who is affected by the decision made by the other exhibitor? Why do you think someone would make this kind of switch?

Missouri 4-H youth development character education program is based on CHARACTER COUNTS®